From age 16 to 19, I started to know love.
Those relationships were disasters that I could not forget.
I always had to guess and felt confused.
What were they thinking?
Why did they act that way?
When they went silent, I felt uneasy and thought all day.
I tried to do everything to keep the man.
I did not think about whether I still had value.
I knew I was hurt.
But I could not let go.
I did not dare tell everything to my close friend.
I knew what she would say.
Some people gave me advice.
But I could not do it.
I hated that.
This did not only make me cry.
It affected my whole life.
I had no strength to do any work.
When I sat with friends, I looked at my phone.
When I went out, I felt sad inside.
No matter what I did, I thought about them.
So I went online again and again.
I watched love videos.
I read posts.
At that time, no one spoke clearly about love.
There were only loose advice.
Quick tips.
Ways to get attention.
Those things did not help me know what to do.
I listened a little here.
I patched a little there.
Sometimes I felt better.
Then everything went back to the same place.
Or something new happened.
And I did not know how to handle it.
I thought love was hard.
Being a girl meant loss.
And I did not know what to do next.
Then one day, YouTube suggested a video to me.
It was a man in the United States talking about love.
For the first time, I saw a man speak seriously about this.
I listened.
I did not know why.
But I felt drawn to it.
Because what he said was different from what I had thought before.
I am a normal girl, sincere, and often hurt in love.
And more than that, for the first time in my life, I knew that love also has a right way.
I feel ignored and met with silence by the man I love.
I do not know what to do next.
I know I am hurt, but I cannot let go.
I post vague messages online and hope he will see them.
I keep looking at my phone and wait for a message or a call.
“Ding!” I grab my phone.
It is only a system message.
Once again, my heart hurts.
I lie down on the bed.
My tears start to fall.
I was surprised.
Before that, I thought love was only emotion...
Does love also need a way?
Does love have psychology?
Is it studied too?
I asked my mother for money to buy an online course and try learning.
Then I applied it to my own relationship.
I did it in an awkward way.
My thinking at that time was not complete.
But with a few small changes, things started to change.
The man became more active.
He became more caring.
He respected me more.
I no longer felt alone in the relationship.
I felt that I had value.
I felt important.
And I realized this:
Loving the right way is the key that helps women end pain.
It helps women stop feeling alone in their own love.